I spent a good portion of the last ten or fifteen years thinking that I had forgotten how to cry. I am not certain why, but I will try to gather my thoughts on it... I had to grow up too young,, it was not a strong position to take in any fight, and laughing about hard times was more fun.
This is my second week in a row where I have been moved to tears multiple times. I embrace it like a dear friend, lost but not forgotten...
I think for as long as I can remember, I was trying to be an adult. It comes from growing faster than most and staying big. I decided at a young age that I would never tolerate anything less than the best from myself, and this led to a potent breed of apathy and self deception.
Fighting is something that has always come natural to me. I am not one to lay my hands on someone else, but I love to fight an uphill battle with words. I am by nature a person of action, and this has led to an egocentric position on life. I have been under the misconception that crying is weak.
Some say that laughter is the best medicine. I am going to debunk that myth right now. Don't get me wrong, when I start telling jokes, I am in my element. Driving with tears in my eyes over a beautiful song, and empathy for my fellow people of the world are two beautiful things that have been made possible through tears.
I pray for myself to be able to cry more unabashedly in life, to laugh when I can't, and to always empathize because in the grand scheme of things, I am a small thing in a universe that is unfathomably complex. Like everything, the beauty is in the details.
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